Random Thoughts of Cass

  "There's a deep loneliness in being the one who recognizes the dysfunction in your family." Whoever said this quote, is absolutely right. There is an even deeper  loneliness when the dysfunction lies on both sides of the family tree. Both my mother and my father's families. The loneliness of not being able to have the family that I desperately want around me and hope for.  I grieve people who are still alive, every single day.  My father, my grandmother with dementia who doesn't remember much of anything anymore, and now my mother, who only seems to care about the men she's with over her own children. And money.  I've been an outsider my entire life. In school, in friendship groups, families, and just any group of people in general. These past couple of years have finally helped me understand why I've been conditioned to be an outsider and independent, it's because of my own family and all of its dysfunctions.  Being an outsider my entire life, u...

This quote really inspired me today, so I decided to make a blog post about why. I spent my school years trying to fit in. All of them.  I felt like an outcast most of my life, basically. I thought there was seriously something wrong with me, that I just couldn't fit in with anyone, everywhere I went. I've attended 10 different schools in my 13 years of education in grade school. Always the one left out, overshadowed, overlooked, last one picked. There were exceptions when I actually found a few close friends to hang around with, but I never did fit into any one group or " clique ".  As an adult, I now understand this quote. I relate to it. Nobody ever talks about how liberating it is to feel free from the pressure of having to fit into a certain group of people. To feel free of all the expectations of a certain group that a person fits into. I have friends who are family to me, but they also come from all walks of life, and from all over the place. I'm not in ...

               What even is that? 👀      Since the pandemic started, I've seen these two words float around a lot on social media and other places on the internet.       I don't consider myself to be either one of these, for the record. I don't see the point. I try and hold my own set of values and morals, ones that match with the world as a whole rather than taking sides.      The awake are considered the far-right Conservatives, who think there's a lot more going on than people see (which yes, there very well may be), aka "conspiracy theorists", and the one's considered woke are the far-left Liberals who comply with everything, aka "sheep". People abiding by the law, trying to live an honest life, trying to see the good in the world, sheep.    T hese terms have deeply divided the world over the last several years, especially since 2020 and COVID19 started.    ...

                            If you choose to wear a mask, then wear one.               After everything we've been through in this pandemic, there are people still arguing about wearing a mask in public spaces!      Honestly, who are we to make a judgement in whether or not someone should wear a mask? This is a pandemic that most of us have never experienced in our lifetime. I'm a Millennial. I've never seen anything like this. I was scared at first. Now, not as much. It's becoming a new normal that we may just have to accept for the time being.   It's the unknown . People are scared . People are dying. Every day.     Regardless of our personal beliefs, we need to sit back and have some compassion for those who choose to follow the public recommendation to wear a mask.  "But, masks don't work."       Before this p...

                                                                            Supposed to be the best time of year, right?      I feel as if many people have lost the meaning of it. Commercialized it. A money racket. Why can't we normalize Christmas just being a time for family to get together, rather than all the pressure of feeling like one has to buy gifts? Growing up, I was happy with what I got, even if I didn't always get what I wanted.        Every day of the year is Christmas nowadays for some! The more people get, the less they end up appreciating what they have, from what I've seen anyway. It may not always be the case.      Appreciate what you have, always . There's always someone out there with a lot less than you, and they are still th...

 So, I haven't done this in a really long time. I've been thinking lately, about how I can better express myself in regard to things I feel passionate about. People tend to quickly scroll through Facebook, and a small percentage actually see anything I have to say on there. I figure a blog would be a way for me to find my own audience, to perhaps find people who care to read about my thoughts and ramblings about things. If you've decided to start reading, welcome! There will be more posts to come.